[She gives a brief smile as her suspicion is confirmed. LB did understand why he might feel guilty over it, but she just figured that he was likely doing some sort of good. When she thought so negatively about herself, it was easy for her to find the good in just about everyone else she ran into - and she in particular thought very highly of Hijikata.]
Maybe, but... I'm going to guess it did some kind of good to kill him? [There's a second pause before she looks away again.] In which case, you'd be doing better than me. Ahahaha... no one I've killed has done any sort of good for anyone.
[And for as far as she knew, LB wasn't entirely wrong in that assessment either. The only motivators she ever really had in killing people were survival, because of an order, or because of a promise to have her mind cleansed of the sorrow and regrets that weighed her down (though she utterly failed on the last one).]
Maybe you deserve to know all the bad things I've done, but - eheheh... it's fucked up. [She sighs against his shoulder, adding:] I'm fucked up, and I... I don't know if I'll ever be better.
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Maybe, but... I'm going to guess it did some kind of good to kill him? [There's a second pause before she looks away again.] In which case, you'd be doing better than me. Ahahaha... no one I've killed has done any sort of good for anyone.
[And for as far as she knew, LB wasn't entirely wrong in that assessment either. The only motivators she ever really had in killing people were survival, because of an order, or because of a promise to have her mind cleansed of the sorrow and regrets that weighed her down (though she utterly failed on the last one).]
Maybe you deserve to know all the bad things I've done, but - eheheh... it's fucked up. [She sighs against his shoulder, adding:] I'm fucked up, and I... I don't know if I'll ever be better.